Demensions - Of Honor and Courage

     The tavern was nearly full and cheerful, although there were too few candles for the room to be bright. Groups of people sat around thick wooden tables laden with the hearty food and heavy ale the bar was famous for. Most of the patrons were foreigners, merchants who had come to Nedea for its spices and jewels, merchants for whom the good trading had made happy. Animated conversation and laughter rose on the smoky air and drifted among the rafters. No one noticed the shadow of death hanging over their heads.
     Death comes in many guises. Tonight it was taking shape in the form of two young women laughing at a corner table.
     "Let's have another!" cried Tolenca, banging her not-quite empty mug on the wet tabletop. Ale from earlier spills splattered the uniform she was wearing for the first time tonight. The newly earned insignia of the Queen's Guard flashed brilliantly on her shoulder as she drunkenly waved her arm, catching the eye of a nervous serving girl. Beside the young soldier sat Nevrena, companion in arms, looking from side to side, her eyes always moving as she chewed her lower lip and tapped her fingers on the handle of her mug.
     Tolenca laughed, punching her friend on the arm. "Come on, timid one. Three years paying dues in the city guard, ten months special training, and graduation today. I think we've earned at least one more jug. Look at us." She jumped on the table and spun, barely maintaining her balance when she tripped over her feet.
     "I think not," came the quiet reply. Nevrena stood and placed a calming hand on her friend's arm while trying to take away the mug. She knew from bitter experience how little control Tolenca had over her emotions. Or her drinking. "We've celebrated enough, and I fear we risk offending the other patrons with our joy." Smiling weakly, she gave the people around them a look which begged forgiveness for her intoxicated companion.
     "Too late, wench. You were offensive when you walked in." A thin young man in a travel stained cloak laughed with other merchants at the next table. "Women warriors, now that's offensive," and his companions laughed again. "No, wait, it's too ridiculous to be offensive, it's just plain embarrassing." Now laughter filled the room.
     Tolenca and Nevrena had picked the Travelers' Inn for their celebration knowing that the food would be good and the ale strong, even if it was much too expensive for soldiers. None of their comrades were present, meaning there was no support for them here, which only spread the mirth from the thin man's derisive remarks. Not all countries shared Nedea's egalitarian views on the proper place for women.
     Tolenca leapt down from the table, landing less than gracefully beside the stranger. Green eyes flashed dully, their fire dimmed by the drink, as she threw back her head, holding her chin high if not quite straight. "I am Tolenca, Queen's Guardian, protector of Her person and Her honor..."
     Before she could say more the young merchant broke in, smirking. "I hope she doesn't need much protecting if drunken girls like you are all she has to do it!"
     Turning to the watching crowd, the joker grinned like an idiot as he tipped an empty mug over his head while wildly waving an imaginary sword, provoking gales of laughter from his audience.
     "Come, Tolenca, he is foreign and knows not the import of what he says," Nevrena whispered, hoping to prevent her companion's rarely restrained temper from flaring.
     It was too late.
     As so often happens, foolish words led to foolish actions. Tolenca's sword hissed from its scabbard. Before the man realized his mistake, steel was pressed against the soft flesh of his throat.
     Nevrena gasped, knowing what must inevitably take place.
     Tolenca spoke deliberately, although her gaze was not completely focused. "Insult me, and you insult my Queen. We are the Queen's Protectors. We draw our swords only in defense of her, but once drawn the offence must be paid for. In blood!"
     Even slurred, the words carried death with them. In the rafters the shadows thickened, as if coming to life.
     Waxing pale, the man stared into the woman's eyes. Nevrena watched the two, and saw that the merchant was really little more than a boy. A frightened, boastful, tactless boy; a boy who would be dead soon, before he had a chance to learn how to hold his tongue, but a boy nonetheless.
     "Do not kill him, Tolenca, he is just a child."
     "He is a foolish child, who acts and speaks like a man, who wants to be treated like a man." Tolenca saw the young man, saw all the young men who had insulted her as a child and belittled her as a woman, even in the supposedly enlightened Nedea.
     This man was young, but he was like all the others.
     Eyes locked on the boy, she hissed to Nevrena, "Now he must die like a man. It is not a question of his age, it is a question of honor. He has insulted us, insulted our Guard, and insulted our Queen. For honor's sake the insult must be avenged." Tolenca turned her glazed eyes to Nevrena. "How could we serve the Queen if we let all these people see Her insulted in this way while Her Guard did nothing?"
     Nevrena almost choked on her reply. "You dare to call this an act of honor? Murdering a foolish man-child because we were drunk and obnoxious enough to provoke his disdain? Honor? When you know in your heart that the words he spoke of your drunken actions are but the truth? Is it honor for soldiers like us to kill unarmed merchants because they speak without understanding our ways?"
     Undaunted, Tolenca screamed at her friend. "Those are just words! You cannot deny the insult, the mockery of us, our fellow women and our beloved Queen. Can you say that he did not insult us?" Tolenca's face was red, from the heat of the Inn, the flush of the ale, and the strain of the moment. She had killed before, but always in battle.
     This was different. A ripple ran across the ceiling's shadows.
     "Just words you say?" Nevrena answered, her voice soft and calm beside her friend's angry shouts. "You said honor. Think about honor. Think about true honor, and think about the child before you. Is the insult real? For you, yes. But it was deserved. Is there really an insult to anyone else? Is the honor you speak of real? Feel him. He is real, a real person, a living human being. Is the honor of which you speak, the word you place so much value on, worth this boy's life?"
     No one moved to intervene in this confrontation. Clearly the women were members of the Queen's Guard, as their uniforms attested, and they no doubt had a legal right to kill the young man for what he had said. All watched and waited, most barely breathing. Tolenca's face showed her conflicting emotions, revealed the debate in her mind, to which Nevrena gave words.
     "You are drunk. He spoke little more than the truth. Honor was insulted not by his words, but by our actions. If you kill him there will be no penalty, you will be judged lawful in your deed by the tribunal. Will that be enough? Will you feel sure in your heart? Will you not see his face in your nightmares?"
     Slowly, Nevrena placed a hand on Tolenca's sword arm, whispering, "I understand. You fear appearing cowardly before these people, before me. Having drawn your sword and declared your intentions, you feel you must finish what you have started. But think. You spoke of honor, now I speak of that and courage as well. Be brave enough to back down. Be honorable enough to know that only you were insulted, not anyone else, and that you deserved it. Let the boy go. Killing him will be neither honorable nor courageous. Letting him live will be both. Do not let foolish pride and empty words take this flesh and blood child's life."
     Tolenca's hand trembled as her eyes went from the boy to her friend. She took a deep breath, her grip tightening on the sword hilt, and death walked among the people. The shadows above them gathered into a single form, which grinned. For an instant the sword pressed a little harder against the boy's throat, then was withdrawn.
     Still shaking, Tolenca hung her head and spoke in voice so quiet only Nevrena and the boy heard: "I am sorry if my conduct this evening was offensive. I hope that you will not consider this a reflection on the honor and skill of my Guard, or the majesty of my Queen. Be happy in our land and prosperous in your endeavors."
     Then she turned away, her voice strong and sure. "Come Nevrena, I think we should get some sleep."
     As they left the thick shadow over their heads shimmered, scattered, and was gone, it's unsated hunger driving it to seek other prey.

Of Honor and Courage

© 2000 Edward F. Stack